"Eye on Malaysia..."

Never really remember the last time I actually
SLEEP..
Ever since I accepted the fact that we cant even be friends
I slept the most 3 hours a day


Tried getting some help with the alcohol
It works

But it got me a real hard time waking up the next day!!

A friend of mine asked
So what did u miss in him
The relationship or the friendship
I said both
I lost both

Many love to ask did I ever regret getting back with him
I said I am very confused too

Yes, he brought me lots of sweet memories
I smile when I recall them

But at the same time..i cry recalling them..

Confusing ya..

Cleaned the house the other day and found my diaries
Found out that I had fallen in love with him in year 2001
Lots of twist and turns

We got back September last year
No one really knows how happy I am inside
I’ve always pray for a day
That he will finally stop walking and take a look behind
And see me standing there all the while

Waiting for him .. haha..I am silly.. I know..

Then we got awful and decided to end it in January this year
Everyone including myself thought “I will be perfectly okay”

It is not the first time
Moreover .. I have been thru things worst than this
And I am still okay

Guess I’ve over-estimated myself ..AGAIN!
It hurts so much that every time I woke up
I felt an indescribable pain in the heart

Or should say..it hurts so much that it woke me up from my sleep

I kept asking the people around me
“why” and “how”

Why he did this to me?
How could he forgets me so easily?
Why why why and why
How how how and how

When I found out that the "Eye on Malaysia" will be extended till this August 2008
I am very happy
I have always wanted to ride the fairy wheel with him
Funnily I had the ride before
But I can't recall I went there with him or with someone else
Because .. scarily.. in all I do..I’ve always wanted him to be the one beside me

I went to a Taiwanese restaurant for lunch
I love the place
And I cant recall if I really been to the place with him before
I been there but is it with him?!
Or someone else ?!!
Because wherever I go
In whatever I do
In my heart
I wanted him to be the person right next to me

And that will always remain as a wishful dream
That will never ever comes true..