OMG!! OMGG!! and OMG!!!!

Yesterday evening,I went out with a friend of mine for steamboat! I believe everything happens for a reason.The Lord will never caught in surprises.There is a reason for everything.I agreed to meet Tammy as she is so persistence in seeing me-so badly!! Haha!!

The Lord is truly awesome.This is all I can say.HE must’ve see that I’ve not truly “let go”.I admit that yes,I do accept the fact that we can never be together hand in hands but at least there is stil a room for friendship, not for now but some day later..I am still looking forward for that day to come.And HE send this friend of mine as a messenger to tell me “NO!”

Tammy told me she once went out for a dinner with him.A group of them.She asked him do he has my contact number,as there were few months I had temporarily changed my number.He said “No,he don’t have and he don’t know” , The way he replied gave her the impression that he dont know me well..OMG!!! Is that real?? Am I listening well? Gossshhh!! Then,who the heck that slept right next to me?? OMG, OMG and OMG!!! I asked her again,is she sure he is the one replying and when was that.

She confirmed he is the one and she is surprised to find out that I am in a relationship with him when she read my blog.The first post,I attached a picture of him!!! My God!!! How could he??!!! How can I ever forgive him??!!! I am a sinner myself..i commited a lot of sins,I ‘ve no right to judge him..but how can I ever forgive him??!! It really freaking hurt me!! He denied my existence long before we finally call it quit!! I am speechless!!

I should be out having drinks later on and catch the game, Spain (vs) Russia with frens,but I headed home after the dinner.It is hard enough for me to see him doing tremendously well-back on track soon after the break-up, as it doesn’t mean anything to him at all and it eats me up to know now that he never leave the track at all.

I called up Sharmaine,I needed someone to talk to.I didn’t burst into tears. This time is just too much. There’ll be no more tears from me for this person.And can I ever thank the Lord enough for this amazing young lady-Sharmaine? I’ve known her for 12 years!! We had a fun conversation,laughing our heart out.After we ended the call,she sent me a message.She said she too read my blog and realized how much hurt Ive been thru.

When we see someone being cut by a knife,we know it hurts,surely it does.But the only person that know how much it actually hurts,it’s the one that being cut by the knife.And yes,it hurts awfully much.

Sometimes I will wish I can take my heart out from my body as it just too much pain.I cry the moment I wake up.I cry in the bathroom.I cry when I am getting ready to work.In the office,i cry in the toilet and I cry myself to sleep.I am truly blessed that in all the pit-falls that I fell into,Sharmaine is always there to pull me up! Thank U, Jesus, for this angel U’ve sent to me.

I deleted all the remaining sms that I still keep in my mobile.The gifts,the 3 gifts that I’v e kept for years,it's with the MPAJ now.Threw them all into the bin! The pictures,tear it into pieces.Never thought I’ll acted such a way! I've always thought there were times he trully in love with me. I blame myself most the time for not being a better lover that I let him walked away so easily. I should be more understanding, he said he is busy,I should’ve trusted him and have more confidence in him! Goossshhh!!! I am stupid to think maybe for one second he actually care! He never once being commited.
Everything he said,everything he did..everything is just lies!!

I’ll stil in the dark if I had not been out with this friend of mine.Thanks to her too.Don't feel bad for telling me. I am indeed very grateful u did.

For me to ever trust a guy again? It will confirmly takes a long deal of time to recover.
Sis.jon once told me,she is sick for getting hurt in a relationship.She wanted to be a wicked person,to protect herself from being a victim again.I told her that is not the way, turning ourself into one of those lousy person,will that make us feel better,it wont,it’ll make us no difference from them.

Now,I just want to spend all my time,my love and my energy towards the people that truly cares for me,my mum and surely all my angels in my angels listing.
And to all my friends that I've always "aeroplane/fong fei ke" not keeping my word,it won't happen anymore!Haha,hopefully!! Cheers to Friendship!!
And Yes! Spain won!!!! Cheerssssss!!!!!